~SLOArtifex

Only 2 years?

Wow. I guess my life has a higher content density than I thought. I suppose this is a good thing.
The last few years have been... intense. Big, dramatic, intense.

I can't believe it's only been 2 years.

I feel like a completely different person, living in a completely different universe. I look back at who I was, and I see only the faintest of sparks, hints, inspirations of who I am, now. 2 years from now, I'm sure I'll look back and see the same thing, again- that I'm only a fraction, now, of what I am to be.

One thing remains so constant, though, throughout my life. It's one of the only things that's always been constant in my life.

I love my music. Not in a haughty, self-righteous kind of way. Not in a commercial, superficial kind of way. I would never try to sell it. I would never make you listen to it. I would never expect anyone else to listen to it.

But I love it. I do it for me. I love sitting in front of a piano. I love closing my eyes and playing. I love feeling with my ears, seeing with my fingers, thinking without my brain. Music burrows past what I feel now, who I am now, straight to who I have always been, and who I will always be. That's the only way I know how to explain it. When I sit down at a piano, it's like I'm returning home, to a safe place, to a place where time does not exist, where everyone could live together forever if they only understood. Music is a constant, my recurring theme, and one of only a few in my life.

When I'm playing, it's the only time I feel okay about who I was yesterday, last week, four years ago. It's when I realize that growing up is silly, because we're always the same person making the same stupid mistakes.

God and music. Life would be empty without them.
And I'm pretty sure God knows it.

Anyway, needless to say, I haven't been here in two years, and you'll be lucky to see me here again for another two years. I still do music, but I don't upload it anywhere, at the moment.

My Facebook ([link]) is only marginally less neglected- I usually manage to update semi-monthly. Feel free to stop by.